When revision takes over

Revision time is always a period when my mental health takes a turn for the worst. I don’t actually know why this is because I LOVE studying (nerd.) but it always leaves me feeling really low.

So here are a few hints and tips I’ve learnt over the last 8 years when it comes to exam time….

1) PLAN PLAN PLAN

Seriously… plan. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming with so much to do and so little time – we all know the feeling.

So firstly, I have a massive poster on my wall where I write all the days of my exams in and shifts for work to give me the overall view/time frame.

Secondly, I have my dairy which is basically a daily planner. Every night (or sometimes morning) I plan my day to a T even to the time it will take me to get places. Okay, this sounds a bit insane but honestly my psychologist suggested it and it has been life changing!! Previously, I would stress myself out because I would plan one thing right after another then realise I didn’t have the time to actually get between the two events. Also, I used to study for hours on end without and break and it was really unproductive so by planning I always factor in times for a break.

2) Plan coffee breaks (tea, hot chocolate, cold drinks what ever takes you fancy)

This is the perfect excuse to catch up with all those friends you’ve been too busy to see throughout the year. I love this time because it means I have something to look forward to in the day and it means I get to see some of my favourite people ❤ this never fails to help ward off mental illnesses.

3) Go for walks

I just do not do well sitting down all day cause I get so bored so when I realise I’ve been sitting down too long I get up and go for a walk – whether that be outside or just a wee nosey round the library it always helps me refocus. Also in case you didn’t realise I LOVE taking pictures so going for a walk always gives me some insta content (LOL). So…. Get your self up off your arse and use the legs you were given, get some fresh air and let your brain re-calibrate.

4) Have a good music playlist

Music is life. Well for me it is as I honestly listen to it 24/7 (I swear there is even music in my dreams). If you are like me and need music to study make sure you have a playlist that makes you feel like that independent women (or man) that you are. You need those songs that make you feel as if nothing can stop you and you are on top of the world. So before you start those long library slogs or before the one start tomorrow make a really REALLY good pick-you-up playlist!!!

5) Targets

Sometimes we go through a 7 hour library day and come out wondering what we actually got done?! You ended up feeling so deflated and unmotivated meaning you feel like CRAP! Set (realistic) targets then by the end of the day you can tick them off and actually look back and realise you absolutely smashed the day. If you don’t reach them all – that’s okay there is always tomorrow or maybe you tried to cram to much into that day. At the end of the day if you’ve ticked off one of your targets you did more than you thought.

6) Change your environment

Finding those four walls around you are making you go insane and you’re starting to hallucinate. Get your stuff and get out. You don’t need to imprison yourself to the same place day in day out, it you find you’re no longer getting anywhere go try somewhere else. Maybe a coffee shop, a different library, a friends house, go outdoors and take some reading you need to get done, your living room. The list is endless – be creative with it and you’ll surprise yourself with how much a different environment can help.

7) If you’re unproductive –STOP!

People hate hearing that – I’ve heard all the comments “Oh, I don’t have enough time” “I have sooo much to do” – okay cool but seriously the more you sit and stare at the screen the less you are going to get done and I’m telling you this from experience. I used to push through and got maybe a total of 2 slides from a lecture done in 3 hours. Now when I know work is going no where I do one of three things – go to the gym, make food or read articles. Everyone is different and enjoy different things so find things that you enjoy doing that take about and hour or so note them down then use them.

8) Laugh

CHEESY AND CRINGY.

I know but do you have a picture/video that always makes you laugh? Maybe your like me and the memes people tag you in make you laugh out loud. Just remember no matter how down you feel find at least one thing in the day that will make you laugh. Every smile counts ❤

Happy revision guys,

Hannah xoxox

 

 

Behind the scenes

I’ve never been very good at opening up. Yea big coming from me but honestly hiding behind a computer screen opening up is a lot easier than in person.

Let me show you two pictures…..

 

 

These were both from the same day 6 hours apart. The first one – the one the world sees; a smile, make up on, dressed up and confession edited (as if you didn’t already know).  The second, the one we never want to show the world, a tear stained, unfiltered/untouched face. The image of what is really underneath the smile.

I’m guessing you’re wondering why I’m showing you this? Well, because I want to show people the realness and consequences of mental illness, what it’s really like when you’re having that low day/period. What it feels like after the day is done, your make-up comes off, you’re in your pj’s and you’re alone.

I’ve opened up for the world about my illness, I’ve told those closest to me and I message people when I’m not okay but still…still I have these days when I can do nothing but crawl away to be by myself and sob until my head hurts, eyes are raw red from the tears and there is no water left in my body. Opening up is no longer an option but friends understand it isn’t because I don’t think there isn’t someone I can tell because there are more of you out there than I could ever imagine that are ready to pick up the pieces whenever I need.  However, the most difficult part of these days is the fact for being so open I just can’t find the words to talk – I become temporarily mute.

Please please please for anyone who finds themselves in a similar position and reading this don’t feel disheartened on these days. Don’t feel like it it’s a step back because simply, it’s not. Recovering from any illness, there are going to be days harder than others but the good days are coming, they really are I promise. Every once in a while it’s okay to be alone and cry, half the time it lets me wake up feeling so much better because all the emotion just needed released. One note, just don’t let it become habit.

6 hours apart…how can it change so quick? Hmm, your guess is as good as mine. Honestly, one day I can wake up and feel like I’m ready to skip, flip or cartwheel down the street then half way up that street I want to pull my hood up over my head, look to the floor and walk as fast as I can until I get to the end of it. Fellow sufferers, my friends, friends of sufferers I know it’s hard to take but our mood can change in an instant. We understand it’s so difficult for you to know what to do but just know you being there is enough, we may not seem like great company (sorry) but it helps having someone there even if it isn’t to talk and just do your own thing. Other times we need to go and be by ourselves. It’s never a reflection on you or what’s happened, it’s all in our heads – give us time we’ll come around again. The best thing for you guys as friends, supporters, hand holders to do is just read the situation and learn what is best to do for that person when it all changes so suddenly.

But… generally guys, keep doing what you’re doing because even if you feel insignificant in the situation you have no idea how much good it is doing underneath the surface.

Finally, for those suffering, take comfort. Even for those who think I outwardly appear to have “recovered”, I still have those times of struggling and times when darkness takes over. I have come a long way since this all began and it has taken years to get any degree of better but it’s not complete and that’s okay. I’m not as strong as I look all the time but as Shawn Mendes says (cringe)

“Hold on…there is so much life ahead of you”.